Zoo of the Week

Modern zookeeper offers apologies to offering fewer zoo of the week entries, which have probably hampered the weekend activities of the frequent blog readers.

This week's zoo of the week is the San Francisco Zoo. Zookeeper Diego has fond memories of the SF Zoo from a late night visit to the zoo. Zookeeper Beno and I decided to experience the zoo intensely by hopping a fence late at night.

Despite my uncanny abilities to befriend even the most ferocious members of the animal kingdom, after scurring up a fence and squeezing underneath some barbed wire, I was struck with the frightening possibility that we had jumped into a carnivore's lair. Unlike most nights, I had no fresh meat in my pockets to offer as a token of friendship to whomever lived inside. Fortunately,
we had only jumped into a grassy hill near the footpath and walked unscathed into the zoo.

Most of the zoo's majestic animals were sleeping, although zookeeper Beno managed to coax a group of friendly flamingos into song, arousing the suspicion of zoo security.

If you do wish to see more the SF zoo, I would suggest a daytime visit. The zoo is known for it's lemurs which vocalize in groups and make excellent goalkeepers if you are putting together a zoo soccer team. The black lemurs, as seen here stopping a shot by Wayne Rooney, are an endangered species, disliked in their native Madagascar for eating crops.

The zoo also has an excellent exhibit called Companion Animals. The exhibit teaches children, through a petting zoo and informative signs, which animals make good pets and which are better kept wild. If your child is thinking of bringing home an African hairy warthog, coming down with a post-zoo case of African Swine Fever(carried by the hogs) will be enough to dissuade your child that such animals are better kept in our city parks and alleyways and out of the home.

Modern Zookeeper instead recommends the following animals featured in the Companion Animals exhibit as great pets:
1. Rabbits
2. Goats
3. Goliath Tarantula

Animal versus animal

This week, an evil zoogoer released a large python in the Budapest Zoo killing three Kea parrots. Like any good Hungarian zoo, the Budapest Zoo owns a few pythons but couldn't find a microchip in the identified killer.

Kea parrots are native to New Zealand and are rumored to attack sheep, although this New Zealand folk lore has never been confirmed. They are one of the less colorful of the parrot family, but are supposed to be quite playful when they aren't shredding things in their sharp beaks.

In other zoo news, the only capybara at the Northwest Florida zoo was killed by a resident hippopotamus. This is the same zoo that suffered the death of a baby hippopotamus last month.

The hippo bit the capybara on the "rear end" and "stomach area" according to zookeeper Gus Mueller. The cause of the fight was unknown by press time.

The capybara is the king of the rodent family. Native to the Amazon, the capybara is the largest rodent and its name comes from a tribal word for "master of the grasslands."

The capybara is eaten frequently during lent in Venezuela, as the catholic church ruled that its meat is similar to fish and passable during the religious fast. Despite this religious claim, the capybara is not a fish, although they can dive underwater and sleep mostly submerged.

Zoo of the Week

This week, Modern Zookeeper travels east from the Lake Superior Zoo, to New York City to the Bronx Zoo. In three months and five days, the zoo will celebrate its 108 year anniversary, so what better time to feature its many exciting animals?

The Bronx Zoo features a famous gorilla exhibit, rare tropical birds, and several educational sessions. You can feed sea lions or penguins and watch a "Tiger Enrichment Session" wherein zookeepers offer tigers different items to "explore" in a trust-building session.

Examples of items offered to the great cats include "a treat spinner high up in a tree, a deer hide dangling from the end of a fishing pole, or a big barrel to pounce on." We here at MZ aren't sure how a deer hide dangling from a fishing pole builds trust, as the tigers must be frustrated when everytime they jump for the hide, the devious zookeepers pull it just out of their grasp. Like feline Charlie Browns trying to kick the football before it is pulled from their foot's path, the tigers may become frustrated by this "enrichment" exercise.

As an aside, Siberian Tigers are the largest tiger species. Like Helen Keller, they are born blind, but quickly develop excellent vision. In the wild they feast on deer species and wild boar rather than spinning treats and sugar-coated cereals they enjoy in captivity.

Besides the tigers, if you visit the Bronx Zoo, MZ recommends the World of Darkness exhibit featuring bats, sloths and the douroucouli, the world's only noctural monkey. A native of Central and South America, these spooky primates are known for their big eyes, shrill forest cries and lack color vision, which offers little benefit at night.

Stay tuned as the Modern Zookeeper caravan travels on, perhaps to a zoo located near zoo.

An Ancient Model for a Modern Zoo?

Suppose you caught a snake, a crocodile, a bird, a fox and a monkey, six creatures of very different natures, and you tie them together with a strong rope and let them go. Each of these six creatures will try to go back to its own lair by its own method: -the snake will seek a covering of grass, the crocodile will seek water, the bird will want to fly in the air, the dog will seek a village, the fox will seek the solitary ledges, and the monkey will seek the trees of a forest. In the attempt of each to go its own way there will be a struggle, but being tied together by a rope, the strongest at any one time will drag the rest.

Like the creatures in this parable, man is tempted in different ways by the desires of his senses, eyes, ears, nose, tongue, touch and brain, and is controlled by the predominant desire.

If the six creatures are all tied to a post, they will try to get free until they are tired out, and then will lie down by the post.

From : The Teaching of Buddha
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Liberation Wednesday

While polar bears and arctic foxes continue to be among the more oppressed animals in contemporary zoos, one animal has struck back for their white-faced brothers. Oliver, a capuchin monkey, escaped this morning from the Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo in Tupelo, Mississippi.

Can Oliver find his way through underground zoo tunnels to the peaceful monkey haven of Martinique? No one can be sure.

If you look closely at the photo, you can see Oliver blending in to the Mississippi bayou.

For all the modern zookeepers in Mississippi, if you see a young man, around 18 inches tall who looks similar to zookeeper Kojak, please help. Any amount of change or a palm nut would be appreciated. Good luck, Oliver.

Latest headlines

Hey all,
while Berlin may be the Euro capitol famous for spreading good will via the Love Parade and Martin Gropius building, apparently polar bears aren't extended the same open arms.

The latest news from the Berlin Zoo reminds us why villanous zookeepers in films and the modern imagination speak mostly Hungarian, the East Timor language of Tetum, and German.

German zookeepers have decided to force the polar bear cub Knut into going on a diet. Despite the fact that wild polar bears eat a diet of seals and fish very similar in taste to schnitzel and beer battered cod, the zookeepers have decided to feed Knut less croissants, more porridge and some vitamin supplements.

Will Knut survive the harsh Berlin winter on this diet?

When will 60 Minutes write an expose on his poor treatment?

Modern Zookeeper demands answers.